Confliction

I need help - I really do. I don't know what to do anymore. My car will be in the shop, which will end up costing my parents $337, money we don't have, and my parents have just found out that I will not be receiving the Bright Future's Scholarship. Now, I have hinted at this before, like saying 'It's mathematically impossible for me to get it back', but they never thought that this meant I wouldn't be receiving the scholarship. I really thought they had already pieced this together, and boy was that a whopper when I realized they didn't.

I can hear their voices in the room next to me, and this puts a pit in the bottom of my stomach. My father's view as that this will build up my student loan and that hey! if I want to throw away my life it's my choice. My mother thinks I should transfer to the university that's right here at home. I think that's a good idea. I mean, I absolutely LOVE UCF, but it seems I can't afford it. The only thing holding me back is that I have already signed a lease to live, which I cannot undo, my textbooks have already been bought, and I have a job waiting on me.

I will admit, my loan is pretty high, but truthfully, I thought that the majority of college students have this problem, and they all solve it. I mean, I know I'm young and naive, and I know my readers (if any), that you are thinking the same. Can you leave a comment, give me advice. Maybe it'll help to hear it from a third party. I'm just not sure anymore.

But, thats about it with my problems, I'm going to have a long talk with God tonight, I think it's very overdue, and above all, his is the advice I covet. I've cried too much today, whether it be from car expenses, not meeting my parent's expectations, or the possibility of losing my independence.

If, in fact, I am able to keep attending UCF, I would leave in two weeks. My summer has gone by too quickly, and I have certainly bonded with my dog, Sam. We've gone to the beach, and dog parks, and long walks. Now I think he loves me more than Mom. hahaha. He's at my feet right now, conforting me. Dogs are really amazing: No matter how crappy your day was, or whether you're mad at them - nothing will my your pet love you less (with an exception of those few extreme cases), they have a never ending love.

That was off subject. I was meaning to talk about the end of summer and the upcoming school year. 11 days until I'm supposed to leave for UCF. I'm already packed. Only a few boxes crowd my room and garage. I've sorted them out, and eliminated the unnecessary items considerably, a fact I'm very proud of.

If I were to attend the university here, it would be hard to transfer all the credit of the classes I have completed. Unlike generic topics, French varies from school to school. They are not the same. But, It would be nice, because according to their catalog, they have a lot more options of classes, and I would not need to study abroad or take any other substitutes. They would have everything i would need there.

Well, please keep me in your prayers. I know how selfish that sounds, but i really need help.

A Bientot.